DEFINITION: "Mean Girls" by my definition are "Girls, or Women who insult, bully, or otherwise torment strangers, friends or acquaintances without the use of physical violence." I have lived among these fearsome beasts and watched them in action. I have studied their ways as an undercover "Mean Girl" researcher. The first thing I learned in my expedition is how to spot a mean girl. These terrifying creatures look like most other women. They can be beautiful, wealthy, charming, and may often appear kind and friendly. These women travel in gaggles. It is rare to cross paths with a lone Mean Girl in that their powers are useless without their comrades. Look for groups of 2-4 women who seem to be amused with no obvious amusing things around, they will be sharing sideways glances with each other, and yes...probably making fun of you without you knowing.
MEANGLISH: "Mean Girls" use normal sentences to seem friendly while attempting to mock you. The following are some examples of what mean girls say, and what they mean.
1. "You cut your hair...Do you like it?" What she means is, "You cut your hair and you look horrible, but I'm curious if you think it actually looks good"
2. "Wow, you really want another kid?" What she means is, "You are doing a really crappy job with the kids you already have and have no business procreating EVER again.
3. "I was just talking to (Insert name here) about how we need to get together sometime". What she means is "I was just talking to (Insert name here) about you.
4. "Your house is cozy" What she means is, "Your house is tiny".
5. Pointing at your child says "Is Jeremy feeling okay today?" What she means is..."Jeremy's gooey green nose is making me want to hurl and either you need to take care of that, or go elsewhere"
6. "That's swell". What she means is, "That pisses me off, but I'm too chickenshit to say how I really feel because my gaggle isn't here to protect me".
Technically most compliments given by a mean girl are backhanded compliments or sarcastic in nature. To a nice girl, the insult is invisible, but to a fellow Mean Girl, they know what you really meant, (hence the sideways glances)and they will probably be talking about it the second you walk away. In fact your response could potentially be an inside joke they have to make fun of you for years to come. Now, you may be thinking, "That is so mean", my response is...Mean Girls are called Mean Girls for a reason.
So once you have identified a mean girl what do you do? You can confront them, ignore them, or try and convince yourself that they really aren't that bad. If you identify with any of the aforementioned statements and intentions then you are a Mean Girl and it is time to change. There is nothing wrong with joking about things. Jabbing and mocking can also be used in real friendships providing they are mutual.
CONCLUSION: "Mean Girls" are everywhere. They are at church, they are at school, and they may be excluding you, insulting you, and making your life a living hell. If at all possible avoid such girls. If you feel the need to confront a Mean Girl isolate them from their gaggle and express your feelings. Even mean girls have hearts, they just shrink when their posse is nearby.