Holiday Spirit

I have had a blog in mind for the past couple of days. I was going to write a really cynical something about how rude and pushy and inconsiderate people have been this Christmas season. The post was going to be witty, have the word jerk and freak at least five times. It was going to be pointed and yes, offensive. I was going to end the whole thing with a bit about my husband and what a pain in the ass he is. But I learned something today that has completely obliterated my desire to be offensive, or cynical or critical. I got a call from my friend Amanda telling me that a friend of mine has just found out that her husband has stage 3 Lymphoma. They are in their early 30's. They have three small children under the age of five. They are outstanding people, stalwart in the church and community. They are the kind of people I have forgotten exist. This holiday season while I have been complaining about my husbands lack of appreciation for his gifts, on the other side of the country another family is trying to survive; grieving, hoping, and praying. I think of how selfish I am, how I think my problems are the end of the world, and I am ashamed at my lack of perspective. Devastation is one phone call away. It could be my mother, brother, husband, sister, friend or child who has experienced tragedy. This post is not meant to depress, but is more to apologize. I know that my blog is sarcastic, offensive, and according to my sister...highly dramatized. I have critiqued and picked apart the actions of my husband and friends, and claimed I have learned who I am. I have been wrong (though I'm not promising to stop). I haven't learned who I am yet because life is ever changing. We are tested, tried and constantly challenged. While I have been distracted by the little annoying tests in life, others have lost loved ones and have endured with grace. I haven't paid any attention though, too much "learning about myself", which is code for ignoring others in need to whine about why I am unhappy. My prayers go out to Heidi and her family. I am praying for a Christmas miracle for them, because they deserve it. This Christmas I will quit thinking about what I have lost and better appreciate what I have.