Sunday, February 1, 2009

Shameless Cyber-Stalker

I admit it...I am a shameless cyber-stalker. I figure the first step in recovering is to admit my fault. I can't help but keep tabs on old friends and enemies and random people that have made some sort of impression on me at one time or another. I have to spy on them and see how and what they are doing. I feel like I am peeking in their souls and staring at their lives in hope that they are not any happier than I am. I shouldn't technically feel like a total loser though... right? Because technically if you have an open blog you should expect people to look at it. Random people surfing online can find it if they want...So am I so bad for wanting to check on them? I don't think the fact that I do it is the real problem. I think my intentions are what are a little disturbing. Am I really the fattest person in my graduating class? If I had married that one loser I dated would I be living in a nice house in Pleasantville? Or has he been excommunicated for fornicating with the Nanny? I can't help but ask myself these questions. And every asked question HAS to be answered, so why not just check...just real quick. Does this make me a cyber-stalker? Is it bad to check up on people you hated passionately just to make sure they haven't won the lottery, or been given a Nobel Peace Prize, or have the perfect life that you wish you had. Oddly enough the Blogosphere is completely subjective. So maybe Mr. Nanny- Fornicating Excommunicated Perv's wife doesn't KNOW he is a pervy fornicator, his blog may show a perfectly happy home life. Or maybe she does know and is devastated but chooses to post cute Christmas pictures of their happy family...just for the sake of pretenses. I don't think people want all of cyber-space to know what really goes on behind closed doors, so why do I bother reading their blogs? So I can look at the portion of their life that they choose to show me and wonder if my life is less adequate. Add Masochist to my title as cyber-stalker.