Quotations of my childhood

I am a very bizarre and unique person. I will never deny that, but part of realizing how I have come to be me involves knowing a little bit about my upbringing. My parents are both very private and friendly, but aside from that they are very different from each other. I have some quotations that have stuck with me from birth, can you guess which ones are from my father and which ones are from my mother? Here they are....

"If it looks too good to be true, it is"
"Never give a sucker an even break"
"Never look a gift horse in the mouth"
"If it looks like a duck and it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck...Its a duck"
"Don't be SORRY, be SMART!" We said sorry a lot for doing stupid crap when i was a kid.
"If you feel sorry for yourself, try doing something for someone else!"
"It doesn't pass the whiff test"
"There's gotta be a pony in here somewhere"
"The more you serve someone, the more you love them"
"We do what we are"
"you know what thought did? It peed the bed" (okay that was a granny great reference, but I had too.
"Practice doesn't make perfect...PERFECT practice makes perfect"
"Even a blind squirrel gets a nut once in a while"
"The harder I work, the luckier I get"
"Chickens one day, Feathers the next" That is a grandpa great quote to even things out.

I know there are copious quotations I have grown up with that are about love and trust and kindness, but these are the only ones I really recall. I made WAY more naughty choices as a kid than I did loving service! I love these quotations and I think of them daily. I love my parents. I love their skepticism and their insight to life. I miss them both for varying reasons. Hopefully they are both Chickens today, and not feathers.