Sunday, November 23, 2008

Warts VS Acne

At my most recent Doctor's appointment I received some unsettling news. I went in to have some cancer looking thingies on my face looked at. I can only imagine the perimeters they were going to need to cut out to remove the cancer from my face. I was informed that it was not cancer, but that I had sprouted multiple warts on my chin and one on my temple. It was unsettling, but hysterical at the same time. I decided not to hide my deplorable warts, but to announce them openly...maybe I could get a laugh as well as looks of disgust. I called my sister immediately! Her response was "I will never complain about getting acne again. I will thank my lucky stars it isn't warts." I was a little surprised. I have seen some serious acne. Could five...or six warts be that much grosser than acne? Later that day I told a friend about the warts. She told me that I would be better off to lie to people and say they were zits. I decided to do a little research and see which is really grosser, Warts or Acne. This is what I have discovered from A wart is: a small, often hard, abnormal elevation on the skin, usually caused by a papomavirus. Acne is:an inflammatory disease of the sebaceous glands, characterized by comedones and pimples, esp. on the face, back, and chest, and, in severe cases, by cysts and nodules resulting in scarring. So I pose a question. Which is worse, six warts that you can have burned off your face immediately, or acne on your face, neck and back? I choose the warts (Not that I really had a choice). I may look like Elpheba, or Nanny McPhee, but by golly they were gone in one doctor's visit. Lets hope we don't get that papomavirus again.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

East Coast Disease

Who gives a crap about the festive beauty of late Fall? The leaves have fallen, the birds have high-tailed it out of here, and pretty much the only things stupid enough to still be in New York are the people, the Squirrels and the Rabbits. I mention the animals because their carcasses are strewn across every road you drive down. It is freezing cold here. I am wishing I had followed the examples of the birds and headed south. The cold sucks, but it's not just that... It is the freaking illness occuring here. I would go to my good friend's house, but one of her kids has pink eye, and the other has an ear infection. I wait a of her kids has strep and the other has inherited the pink eye from their sibling. I call another friend...."Sorry, but my kid just threw up all over and I can't talk right now." Scratch that person off my list. I try to arrange a lunch for a bunch of gals, we put jackets on our kids and haul them to Chili's. During my first bowl of soup one of the gals kid pukes on the table, then again on the way to the Chili's bathroom. I will never eat Chicken Enchilada soup again...well that's a bloody lie, but the first time after the incident I only was only able to eat one bowl of it. What a disappointment. My son has been as healthy as a horse over the past four years. He has not had a SINGLE illness to send us to a doctor's office in FOUR years. This was in New Mexico, the grimiest place we have ever lived. Last month he got Strep Throat. Today he has an Ear Infection. What's next, Hand-Foot-and Mouth disease? How can a state be so eco-friendly and green, and yet so thoroughly contaminated with illness? Looks like it's going to be a long, antibioti-filled winter.