Sunday, May 16, 2010


I am bizarre. Atleast, that is the word my father uses weekly when we talk. My hobbies are bizarre, my personality is bizarre. My insomnia is bizarre. It seems that every time we talk I have done something that he qualifies as bizarre. I thought I would reflect for a moment about the past couple months and see if I am really as weird as he (and so many others) think I am. Here is the list of things that I am, have done, or had happen that are odd in the recent past.

1. Have gone to bed after 2am more than four of the seven nights each week.
2. I had a maggot fall into my hair out of nowhere.
3. My baby got bitten on the face by a rabid, heinious child.
4. I flipped out and wanted to launch into (or at) the mother of the cannibal toddler, but kept my hands to myself and my mouth fairly clean. To those who were there to witness my marginally censored freakout, that was as clean as my mouth gets in a situation like that.
5. Went to court twice for once accidently running a red light, and managed to infuriate the judge by grinning at the drunks and crackheads getting nonmoving violations in place of their DWI's because they hired the gnarliest of all sleazeball lawyers. That $50 she added to my ticket was worth every penny.
6. Can't think of anywhere besides home I would rather be than a dojo.
7. Grunt like a man on steroids when I play softball but get embarassed to make any noise in Karate.
8. Told my husband he couldn't buy a $160 pair of shoes with his birthday money and then spent $150 on new clothes for me and bought my kids all new bedroom furniture. (don't feel sorry for him! If you ask for permission, you run the risk of being told no. Just buy the damn shoes, wear them home and take your licks when you get home.)If he had really wanted them, he would have bought them anyway FYI, he was on the fence about it, and I made his decision easier for him. I am SUCH an awesome wife.
9. Painted a crib (this in and of itself is very abnormal behavior for me since I have a natural aversion to crafts AND manual labor) It took me 8 hours to do. It takes less time than that to give birth to the baby in the first place! Next time I am using spray paint, or just buying a new crib. Probably the latter.
10. I Don't really care about recycling and have been in two heated conversations about it with strangers. I understand it's good for the environment people, but I don't think we should be fined if we don't do it. In New Mexico we were practically honored if we put our trash into the trash at all. I know every little bit helps, but globally, your OCCRA bin full of crap to recycle isn't saving the earth. New York and Washington alone aren't going to save the planet.
11. I just soap-boxed to a bunch of random people who probably don't really care about what makes me bizarre.