Sunday, March 7, 2010

Moist

Yes, The title of this post is "Moist". I occasionally go to a recipe swap, or a girls night and it seems that the word "Moist" is extremely gross/borderline offensive to a large number of my friends. I would like to passive-aggressively address this issue. Why is it that the word "moist" is so horrific? I know atleast three women who shudder at the word and will ask you to avoid saying it in their presence. I don't understand. When describing the consistency of a food, there is no other term for "moist". The cake was moist and delicious. It is the opposite of stale, or dry. How can that possibly be offensive?! I realize that the same word in reference to the gauze pad on your ceserean incision is disgusting, but at a recipe swap that is hardly the topic of conversation, though, I am sure if was to be brought up it would be MY doing. I think that the words chunky, or runny could also be used in a repulsive manner. I would typically give several examples of how I could use them to be disgusting, but I will refrain. There are two words that can be used when describing me...Gross, and Gluttonous. I love to horrify people with gross comments, and I love to eat (and eat, and eat). I have racked my brain comparing the gross uses for "moist" with those used in cooking and eating. I can think of many more yummy "Moist" things than disgusting "Moist" things. I can generally take any normal word and make it gross, but I'm not on board with this one. I think it is a wonderful word, and when I think of it my mouth waters. I can picture the moist Jello Cake, or Cheesecake, or Spice Cake, or Carrot Cake. YUM! I have looked for synonyms for "Moist" so that I can TRY to be more politically correct when I am with the ladies. If I am going to offend people, I want it to be for something really rank, not in reference to the texture of a cheesecake! Damp, oozy and soggy were on my list of candidates, but in the end I will smile and tell them that their cake is succulent.

4 comments:

Donahue Family said...

A chuckle out loud! And how appropriate! Succulent for sure would make them ooze with joy!
Anyway, you always make me laugh. And seriously, the thought of a moist C-section scar is enough to make me barf!

Carrie said...

Everytime I say the word "moist" from now on, I will be thinking of you. :)

Sherri said...

You are TOO funny! Tyler told me about this one and I had to read it for myself!

I am with you, there is no better word to describe pastries than moist. Go Birdo! Caw!

Carrie said...

Funny side note: I was watching "How I Met Your Mother" the other night and Lily can't stand the word Moist. It was hysterical... probably more so because of this post.